back in the day..
back in the day..
‘Fat’ is usually the first insult a girl throws at another girl when she wants to hurt her.
I mean, is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’? Not to me; but then, you might retort, what do I know about the pressure to be skinny? I’m not in the business of being judged on my looks, what with being a writer and earning my living by using my brain…
I went to the British Book Awards that evening. After the award ceremony I bumped into a woman I hadn’t seen for nearly three years. The first thing she said to me? ‘You’ve lost a lot of weight since the last time I saw you!’
‘Well,’ I said, slightly nonplussed, ‘the last time you saw me I’d just had a baby.’
What I felt like saying was, ‘I’ve produced my third child and my sixth novel since I last saw you. Aren’t either of those things more important, more interesting, than my size?’ But no – my waist looked smaller! Forget the kid and the book: finally, something to celebrate!
I’d rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny – a thousand things, before ‘thin’. And frankly, I’d rather they didn’t give a gust of stinking chihuahua flatulence whether the woman standing next to them has fleshier knees than they do. Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons.
Every day I get comment’s relating to my weight. That bugs me. Sometimes it’s a compliment “Wow, your still skinny after having a child” other times it’s vile abuse. I’ve called anorexic, been told to eat.. even friends have tried to “feed me” because I don’t eat as much as they do. It annoys me! I have never had an eating disorder of any kind! A few years back two girls on facebook decided to use my weight as way to bully. If I were ill, this was because I hadn’t eaten enough. It got me down, I started to think there was actually something wrong with my body weight, started weighing myself daily & believeing I have some sort of eating disorder. It was only one day when I read them say “No we don’t know this girl at all” When I snapped out of it & started being me again. I see people judging other based on their weight alone & that bugs me. We should all be allowed to be the person we want, whether that big or small, without the horrible judgemental comments that go along side it. I am 1OO% happy with my body, bones & all.
